Frustration
Pattern blueprints describe how emotional states actually show up in real time - in your body, behaviour, and thinking.
They're tools you can use to recognise what's happening and respond more effectively.
Why can't I do this?!
This might be you if
- You're trying to do something and it's not working
- You're really sure it SHOULD be working
- You'd like to get a battering ram and force your way to the outcome you want
What it feels like
Outward signs are emphatic and obvious - clear head shaking, often with an 'ugh!', 'grr!' or similar vocalisation.
Hands are moving jerkily - fist ↔ palms and fingers spread wide repeatedly, or fists clenched but held close to the body if trying to control the emotion/expression.
Teeth clenched/biting down - molars for general frustration, front teeth if connected to someone else and you're trying not to verbalise.
More severe experiences include pulling upper lip down or biting/squeezing lips.
Audible breath intake and outtake via the nose.
Posture is often slightly forwards - leaning towards the source, chest out and up, or head down as though to charge.
Frustration triggers energy - it's a keep going signal, not a give up signal.
What's actually happening
Your system is signalling 'this is important, this path isn't working, try something else'
- I want this outcome
- This isn't working
- I have energy and motivation to try something else
Function
This isn't working but the outcome is worth it - try something else!
What helps right now
- Pause and step back to look at the issue from a little distance
- Throw out your assumptions, and go back to the root issue
- Ask for input from other people - they won't necessarily be able to do it when you can't, but new inputs mean new ideas (even if they come via you dismantling why suggestions won't work)
How to experience it less often
- work on your meta-competence (capability for self-reliance, learning new skills)
- work on connection (capability for belonging, being able to work with others)
- increase resilience (capacity to manage load)
common misreads
- irritation
- annoyance
- anger
- weariness
what happens if you ignore frustration
- You waste time, energy and resources on something you've already decided isn't working
- You end up abandoning the plan because 'it's not possible'