The Soutar Method
Explore the Soutar Method
This is the framework I use to help people build resilience in a way that actually works – not by trying harder, but by getting clearer.
You’ll find everything here: what the method covers, why it matters, and how you can start using it.
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The Soutar Method at a Glance
The Soutar Method is like a well-tended garden – rooted in what’s true, shaped with intention, and designed to thrive. It brings together five key skills, grounded in context and aimed at creating real, lasting resilience.
You don’t need to master everything at once. But it helps to see how the pieces connect – and to begin where you are.
Want to know how the method came about? Read the story here →
The Context We Start From
Resilience doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We all carry different loads, and the Soutar Method starts by naming and understanding them.
Structural Inequalities
The bigger forces that shape our lives – like class, sex, race, and access to support. These aren’t excuses; they’re real constraints, and ignoring them distorts the picture.
Personal Circumstances
Health, caregiving, income, past trauma – the day-to-day realities you’re navigating. You don’t have to push these aside to make progress. You work with them, not around them.
Values
The things that matter the most to you. When your actions align with your values, things get lighter. When they don’t, everything feels harder than it should.
The Core Skills of Resilience
These are the practices that make up real resilience. They’re not quick fixes – they’re the tools that help life feel less like a constant firefight.
Filling Your Well
The basics of keeping yourself resourced. Sleep, rest, quiet time, connection. Without this, everything else becomes harder to access.
Strategic Self-Care
Not bubble baths – but long-term self-responsibility. Planning, structuring, and caring for your future self, not just reacting in the moment.
Old Scripts
The stories you’ve absorbed about who you are, what’s allowed, and what will happen if you go against the grain. This is about noticing them – and then choosing differently.
Communication
Saying what you mean, kindly and clearly. Listening without collapsing. Asking without apologising. Speaking up without breaking down.
Boundaries
Knowing where your limits are – and holding them without explanation or guilt. Not everything deserves access to your time, energy, or peace.
What Changes as a Result
When you put the skills into practice, you start making clearer choices – not just reacting to stress, but actually solving problems and shaping your life.
Problem-Solving
Being able to think clearly about your challenges, identify the root cause, and find solutions that create a win-win-win – for you, for others, and for the bigger picture.
Decision-Making
Choosing based on what matters – not just what feels urgent, or what pleases others. Decisions that hold up under pressure.
Where to Start
Understanding the method is a strong beginning – but actually getting started can still feel confusing.
The Soutar Method is built to be worked through in order, starting with your foundations and building up from there. But if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure what you need most, there are a few good ways to begin.
Choose the path that suits you best:
"I want quick help with what's tripping me up."
Take the quiz to find your most pressing blindspot and get some quick wins.
"I want to work through the whole method step-by-step"
Raise Your Resilience is my full course - it guides you through the Soutar Method in depth.
"I already know what I'm working on."
Whether it's boundaries, self-care, or unpicking old scripts, there's a focused toolkit that can help.
✨ Prefer to explore at your own pace?
You’ll find thoughtful, in-depth articles on each part of the method over in The Library – nothing hidden, no purchase required.